October 20th, 1987

When i was born, my mother got to hold me and then i was sent off to one of those old-school, view the screaming, crying, newborns rooms. So cold, so bright, so alone, except for 20 other angry newborns and a nurse. While hangin' out in this room, clearly having the time of my life, a baby girl gets picked up by a nurse and gets to go back to see her loving mommy. "Lucky bitch," my newborn brain thinks as i go on with the screaming and crying. Unbeknownst to me, this 'lucky bitch' gets taken away from the torture chamber, mistaken as me, to see MY mommy. It was supposed to be my turn to go my to my mommy's warm arms, and this 'bitch' is trying to steal my brand new life! Great hospital, i gotta tell ya. Luckily, when my mom was handed this 'bitch,' she takes one look and pushes her away and says, "This is not my baby." As this mix-up is being fixed, me and the 'bitch' pass by each other close enough for me to give her what she has earned for this little plot. A bitch slap, of course. I don't even want to think where i would be now had my mom not spotted the imposter.